Listener Moves
More info
People open up when they feel heard. Active listening helps others feel safe and understood. When someone feels heard, defensiveness drops and rel problem-solving gets easier. It also stops mind reading and clears up misunderstandings. Listening builds trusts – it is how you show, “I am with you,” even when you don´t agree.
Detailed info
When someone talks, try these simple moves to show you’re with them:
Face them; put your phone down or anything else you might be holding.
Let them finish before you speak; a short “mm-hmm” is okay.
Reflect one line: “So you’re saying ___.”
Ask a gentle, open question: “What was that like for you?”
Validate: “Thanks for telling me.” or “That makes sense.”
Check what they want: “Do you want advice, or do you want me to just listen?”
If feelings run hot, suggest a short pause and come back when you’re both calmer.
Listener Moves
Insight
People open up when they feel heard. Active listening helps others feel safe and understood. When someone feels heard, defensiveness drops and rel problem-solving gets easier. It also stops mind reading and clears up misunderstandings. Listening builds trusts – it is how you show, “I am with you,” even when you don´t agree.
Practice
When someone talks, try these simple moves to show you’re with them:
Face them; put your phone down or anything else you might be holding.
Let them finish before you speak; a short “mm-hmm” is okay.
Reflect one line: “So you’re saying ___.”
Ask a gentle, open question: “What was that like for you?”
Validate: “Thanks for telling me.” or “That makes sense.”
Check what they want: “Do you want advice, or do you want me to just listen?”
If feelings run hot, suggest a short pause and come back when you’re both calmer.